I never feel like I am doing enough!
I spent the last weekend at an amazing picnic with some extraordinary people. As I sat and talked with my fellow moms I heard the same conversation, "I feel like I am not doing enough..." I was one of those people speaking those words out loud. How could this be? Why is it that we all feel this way? The gathering we had was for families who have children with Prader-Willi Syndrome.PWS is a rare genetic disorder that my oldest son Blaise suffers from. When you are a parent of a child with PWS it consumes your life. If there was ever a group of people who do more than enough for their kids, it is this group. So how could it be that we all feel that we are not enough and our caring is not enough?
The media tells us so!
Every time we turn on the t.v. or read a magazine we are bombarded with images of what a perfect mom looks like. I spend so many hours thinking about what I am not doing that other moms are doing. We are programmed to think that we are to keep a neat house, our kids clean and we are never supposed to be tired. This is a bunch of you know what. We aren't perfect, or at least I am not. I am fed up with not feeling that my love, my nurturing and my dedication isn't enough. I am a great mom and yes, my house is often in disarray, my kids have dirty faces at times, and I am tired all the time. No, I don't cart my kids off to a million activities everyday and we don't ban our kids from watching t.v. Does this mean that I am not a good mother? Of course not, and I finally believe it. My kids are so loved and happy. I fight the urge everyday to compare myself to other moms, it is so defeating. My life is MY LIFE and not theirs. My kids are different, my husband is different, and I am different. How can we all be the same kind of mom with all the variables involved? So I make this promise to myself. I will not allow myself to say anything negative about my mothering for the next 7 days. I will be totally honest about whether or not I am keeping my word. I know this seems like an easy task, but let me tell you it is not. I will replace my negative self deprecating thoughts with something positive. Every time I think something bad I will tell myself one good thing that I did for my kids today. Will you join me and do the same? I am extremely curious to see how different I feel after the next seven days.
I love your blog. My mantra- "make your own rules!". What helps me whenever I get that little voice comparing me to other parents is to remember these are my children, it's our life, I get to make my own rules. It's helped me to follow my path and to do what's best for my family.
ReplyDeleteWhen my children were little, I had some of the very same feelings as you. Of course, back then we didn't have cable tv or hardly any other outlets like today. I remember feeling "stuck" waaaaaaaaay out in the country with 2 little ones; no way to go anywhere (no car) and no money either!?!?! But with the Lord's help, I/we made it through. My Mom told me "cherish these days because they won't last long" and now I'm saying that to my daughter, too!!! Funny how time does go by soooooooo quickly and before you know it; they are out the door saying "see you later, Mom!" Makes me want to cry just thinking about it but God planned it that way, I think. We ALL were babies once upon a time giving our mothers (and fathers, too, but mostly mothers!!) a difficult time but God gave us to them and our children were given to us, too. We are born for a reason. God will show it to us if we seek Him. I just hope and pray that our generation (The Boomers) haven't made your generation feel badly if you don't do things the way we would. Please know that we are herel for you ANYTIME you need us. We truly are suposed to be "mentors" for your generation!! Take care and kiss my precious boys for me!!! May God continue to bless you always.
ReplyDeleteNana Rosey